Proportions and tears

The box of persona effects is set out on a black piece of velvet. My chair is pulled up to the table as I ponder the photographs. The chair is my own daughter Fisher Price wooden high chair, something that she used as a child and I continue to use in my studio. It is my gauge for weight gain and width of my own hips. "I wonder what Jenna's high chair was like?" I wonder a lot about Jenna. The moment I sit down at the table and pick up the items, the emotions begin.

I put in the CD sent by Jenna's mom, songs that she played to, and songs that will be played at her service. " An now the time is near...” My Way is playing on the CD and as I look at the pictures of the family their happiness. Then the gateway is open between the connections I have with Jenna's mom and the tears and sadness begin to flow. My heart aches to hold a child I have never known.

I have gone through this process long enough to know this is a very strange occurrence, picking up the feelings of my client that are opened up because of our emotional bonds (see former posts).

It has taken me years to learn how to control the emotions, during the process of sculpting posthumous sculpture, as they feel they are mine, they could quickly overwhelm me. "Not mine." I hear myself whispering deep inside, but just enough.

I feel as if I am testing the waters, allowing myself to touch and be touched, but only enough. Learning to say " not mine" has given me sanity in this process. First I must recognize the feelings as not my own. Some people term this "Psychic empathy". I don't know what to call it, I just know it is there, and I now know how to work through it. I have written a lot about this in the book. I really do need to find a publisher for that book.

29.9 inches long. This is a measurement that has been given to me by Jenna’s mom. How tall is she while she is sitting? I look for pictures of her standing up, or being held standing up and then for her sitting down. My husband, also an artist comes down as I show him my sewing tape with 29.9" marked off. We examine the dress, my brain switches gears and I am in another part, no emotion, just proportion, compare, compare, compare. We have decided 19 inches while seated. With this number the foam armature and structure can be built. I expect to be sculpting Jenna by Monday or Tuesday. The armature will be here and the Richard Hathaway waxes will be at the foundry. I can't wait to play with Jenna.

No interruptions please…

While looking through Jenna’s box of personal effects the foster dog ( we foster animals from time to time, Sam short of Samantha is a big black lab puppy). Anyway… Sam came in wanting to smell Jenna’s clothes. I am so enthralled in the box, I hardly notice her at first. Then picking up a small moo can, an item from Jenna’s box, I turn it over and hear the sound of a small cow. Sam cocks her head. If Jenna were here she would be laughing so hard at Sam’s face. Again. I hear myself saying, as Sam turns her head again. We repeat this over and over and I feel I can hear Jenna giggling.

Soon I order Sam out of the studio. The game was fun, but I need to have time alone with these items. I am very possessive and don’t want anyone to touch the items until I have had my time with them, not even a very interested dog nose. I know that sounds strange. I’m not sure why I do this. I remember being short with a fellow student who tried to reach into the box of Dick Hathaway’s personal effects. It is very strange indeed.

Jenna’s box of personal effects arrived the other day.

I could not wait for the time to open it. Open a box, which was packed in tears and memories of a special person who touched so many in her 14 months on earth. It is important that I carve out just the correct time to go through this ritual. I have opened many boxes before, in creating posthumous sculpture. IT is a ceremonial event, which consists of the same things but with drastically different “feelings”. It is the feelings that I am looking for, the feelings attached to each article by the loved one, the feelings of the person that belonged to these items. The feeling and essence of the individual that I will be desperately trying to coax into the clay sculpture.

I unwrapped the dress and stocking that were carefully wrapped in paper and tucked into a plastic bag marked "Jenna's dress" and thought about how unusual it was that my 3D model baby is wearing similar dress. Marveled at how very tiny this dress looks in person, much smaller than in the online photographs that I have seen. “Oh look at these stockings!” I declare. With there little pattern, I could almost see her little chubby legs filling out the tights. “Toes or tights”, I wonder. Tights are easier to sculpt than toes, but those toes…

Then I surprise myself as I perform a ritual that I have done with a piece of clothing from Jenna’s box, a ritual that I have done with each box of each subject that has come before Jenna—Patsy, Lucas, Jeanine and others. I raised her tights to my face and breathed in the smell. “ Is this Jenna, her home smell, or laundry detergent,” I wonder?

a pause of contemplation...

Count Down...

To the sculpture of Jenna. I am trying to bring the Jenna Sculpture to Main when I bring the Dick Hathaway sculpture to Vermont. That is at the end of August. The foundry reports I must have Jeanna in mold for the bronze casting by the end of this month- May. It takes a while to go through the bronze process. I have ulterior motives in that I would really like Jenna's mom to have her before Jenna's birthday. That way they can celebrate, maybe have an unveiling at the gravesite.

This sculpture will be done a bit differently using new technology.. stay tuned.

white pressed clothes... I could dance...

Often after working on such a large project as the sculpture of Dick Hathaway, and the creating of the mold, the studio is a mess. Prior to that the studio is filled with sculpture, clay stained floors, the way a sculpture studio should be, I suppose.

My attire for the last few weeks has been grubby clothes that get even grubbier with putting the rubber and plaster on the molds.

NOT TODAY! The molds are done, the floor is clean (with a great deal of thanks to my apprentice Russo ). Today I put on pressed clothes. Of course I am working in the office instead of the studio. I am thrilled that the large studio floor is free from obstruction. What does that mean? I CAN DANCE! Literally!
I like to dance for exercise, turn on the tunes and start moving. Sometimes my husband joins me and we will practice our waltz, jitterbug, two step, fox trot or cha cha.

The Jenna sculpture needs to be in clay by next week. A quick turn around, but she is little and will take only a small amount of space. So... I HAVE PRESSED CLOTHES ON! A WHITE SHIRT, AND NOW I CAN DANCE!

New online article-

Using the computer and Poser in the Sculpture Studio

A new online article about using the computer program Poser to create presentations and reference for sculpture. The May issue of the online Magazine Best of Artists and Artisans online blog.

Article that I wrote on "Optimizing your Presence on the Interent"

Is now available in the new Sculptural Pursuit Magazine Summer 2008 “Optimize Your Presence on the Internet.” Vol.7 No.2 (Summer 2008) 53.

The wining pose and her butterfly!

Here is the pose that we decided on for Jenna. Yesterday my husband helped me to create a 3D butterfly for her finger. I'm glad he did as it prompted me to take her hand out a bit further from her face. I'm going to be creating Jenna a bit differently than any other sculpture that I have done before, stay tuned for the details.

Off to the foundry!

The 6 molds went to the foundry today. I always like taking a picture of the inside of the mold of the face. It looks so strange. I still have 3 more to make. Can't wait for this week to be over with.

Messy, Messy, Messy!

Once shims are put into the sculpture to create a parting line the rubber is painted on. Then each side receives the mother mold made of plaster. My hands go through a dry week as I mix each batch of plaster with my hands. When it kicks and begins to cure it does so very quickly. The means haste in putting on the coat of plaster. This is why my studio is an absolute disaster right now. Plaster is everywhere, including spots on the cabinets, the phone, the tv remote and all over me. Just a few more days of this mess. That is not a birds nest on professor Hathaway's rubber face, it is hemp that is added to the plaster to make it strong.

Professor Hathaway has gone to pieces! This is not for the weak of heart.

It is all part of the process. Not for the weak of heart. We have spent many months perfecting the sculpture only to cut it to pieces in the end. Each of these pieces will have rubber painted on top of them. Then a mother mold is added on top. They call it a mother mold because it holds the rubber in place. This process is grueling work. It will probably take me an entire week of long hours to complete all of the molds. The sculpture is cut up into 9 pieces.

Off with his head, his arms and...

My apprentice, Russo, and I began the mold making process of the Dick Hathaway sculpture which consists of cutting him up into smaller sections. This freaked Russo out, especially when we cut off the head of the sculpture. My favorite tool in this process is my reciprocating saw. I love this tool, it also comes in handy when trying to divide plants in the garden! I laughed so hard at the expression on Russo's face as we cut off the body parts and she handed them to me.

The completed sculpture before the mold making

Here is a photograph of the Dick Hathaway sculpture just before he went into mold.

My apprentice is an exchange student

I have not posted anything about Russo yet. She is an exchange student that has been helping me in the studio. Here is a picture of her working on Professor Hathaway. Russo is from Georgia.